Think Ali vs Foreman, Vader vs Skywalker, Green vs Mundine – hell, even Germany vs the world.
Actually, forget all that. This is bigger than all of them.
When HSV unveiled its meanest ever car, the stonking 325kW GTS, we knew there was only one man we could send to tame the untameable.
Yep, we asked our unflappable man in white to really put the HSV through its paces at Holden’s Lang Lang test track. And we mean really test it, the smoke screaming from the rear tyres pictured above our case in point.
And a white-knuckled Josh Dowling strapped himself in for the ride. Don’t worry, he recovered. Almost.
The full story is in this month’s Top Gear Australia magazine, on shelves now.
So click through our Stig vs HSV gallery, then tell us what you think of the new HSV below.
Awesome boys, hope he gives it hell!!
This car is so over-styled… what a massive stinker of an update. Whoever gave the green light to go with this new look should be shot!
HSV’s meanest ever car? Don’t think so. W427 anyone?
When i see one of these cars roar off down the road all i hear in my head is i want one i want one i want one tops on the car Holden it rocks!
Q well at least its not a bubble it looks like it has some bite to it like a shark what would you rather be seen in a rounded silver merc or one of these you’d be insane to pick the merc.
who wants sex
Take a few styling ideas from audi and ford – then have a good dig around the spare parts
bin and there you go…a new model!
a very juvenile looking car – someone better tell the styling guys at hsv that most buyers will be over 21.
I do like the wheels though–no,no i dont i didnt mean that – its a bloody holden..
piss off porn star.
Agreed Q, they’ve managed to make a great-looking car look awful. The back half looks like classic Commodore, albeit with a ridiculous wing. The front half looks like Holden outsourced the style update to the crew that design Type S, plastic dash gadget accessories, at Super Cheap Auto.
The car screams 50 year old fat wanker, or ice dealer. It should be finished off with some personalised number plates, eg KNOB, or SIKONE, etc.
piece of crap.
quick my arse.
I can’t believe the Stig even got into it!
It looks like his fat American Cousin on wheels.
But then again, without cars like this, how would we spot the men with… errrm… little bits? (sorry Little Bits)
i really like the big yellow brake calipers… the old car did look better tho
What is this TGA sponsored by Holden? Cut the propoganda for pointless overstyled consumerist rubbish. If you really must have a car, buy the basic model and the money you saved can go towards something that is really fun or the weekend. (no sniggering!)
It might drive fantastically for what it is, but even ‘The Stig’ looks like a ‘cock’ in it!
kool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This car is ugly all day long and into the night. I can’t believe the styling. ROTTEN!
What is going on Holden? Try taking styling quues from BMW and Mercedes rather than Pontiac and other clunky plastisiced american cars…
Looks like General Motors is paying the bills at TGA
Who else would have Trumpet players, engineers, wankers running an biased T.V car show.
The GTS looks fine, but anything lacking in style is made up in performance. I’d trade my VT for it any day!
Does anyone bagging it actually own a Commodore?
Has anyone noticed that the Stig is driving a HSV in Lang Lang, and only a couple of weeks ago Ben Collins, was racing at Phillip Island in a v8 supercar. Anyone else see the connection there?
I can’t belive most of you think its ygly i think it look awsome your all crazy crazy as a cocunut.
who is ben collins?
Ben Collins – Long time uk touring car driver.
- And the worlds No1 stig suspect!!!
Interesting coincidence..
what,schumachers fill in?
Me
It’s a Bogans car ……overstyled… too much
And the real problem is that you need to Stig’s level of skil to control (only just) that amount of power. How many Aussies truely are able to handle it? Anyone can buy one if they have the cash and then ‘think’ they can handle the power. The problem is multiplied by a million once they become affordable to the Yoof’s, high bravado does not make for the best drivers. Now not all young people are bad drivers, but they are very few and far between. Why not have a compulsory sports car licence (bit like a gun licence) in which you have o prove your competance before being sold something like this. Statistically at least more people are killed and inured by cars than guns in this country anyway!
Not everyone one of these accidents is because of a high powered car but, another 96 accidents on the road yesterday in Victoria. Averages around 100 per day, do the maths 365000 accidents in victoria every year. Some pretty horrendous situations to deal with there.
Please can we try and make it stop? Cutting the amount of driving people feel the need to do would be a good start and help the environment in the process.
Earthy what you really need is to know the cars limits and balls thats about it brains not so much and talky you can just forget it thats why race car drivers are so boring to talk to.
So what we need to do is teach people how to drive these cars properly. Bit like some of the training courses needed to buy some euro hypercars. If you pass the test (which should be about having the skills and the balls (!)) then you’re in. If you pass then this should be reflected in the insurance premiums. It might even increase your cred a bit. Own a car like this then you will have to have provide you’re good enough. Rather than just earn enough to flout the size of your earnings.
But they are still an ugly, pointless, waste of time, effort and resources. Where the hell can you use even a smidge of one of these devices abilities on the public highway?
i love holdens
I know this is a bit off the subject, but I reckon the Holden-Ford rivalry is a waste of time. Fords rule because that ‘Holden’ thing sucks.
Pity about the styling, they could have done alot better
Seems like a good car….apprently anyway…..wait for all the complaints….but the front is way over-styled…..
there is too much to look at all at once…..i think the LED’s would have been enough…..the bonnet scoops look horrible and the black bit in the middle looks like someone forgot to paint it….
overall my impressions arent….well….im not impressed…..and not because i love my fords….
you guys must all be ford lovers, which would explain the comments. how about u sit back and take a good look at it for what it is a bloody great car with heaps of power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And no point what so ever. No relevance to todays driving, societies needs or compassion for the environment.
Only one purpose, marketing the cheaper models.
Earthy – I like the idea of a special licence for a high powered performance vehicle. No different to the way motorbike licences have been for years. Start with a 250cc & work your way up to an unlimited licence. Change from the bike rules where you just have to have your licence for a certain length of time to having to pass actual practical tests of skill & car control. Going fast is the point & it will always be relevant. You can’t talk anyway, your Alpha is about as relevant as my current vn!!
Turbo v8 & h – I hate Fords. With a passion that mere words cannot describe. I hate the E2. It might be quick,(to some), but it’s as ugly as a hat full of A$$holes. It’s just the old basic style with a bunch of bits ripped from other cars. The bonnet & side slots look ridiculous & that excuse for a rear wing is pathetic. It won’t do anything except slow you down so it’s only there for looks. If something is there for looks then make it look good for christs sake.
h – That is not that powerful. I personally know of a TC Cortina that will eat any HSV for breakfast & when my Torrie is done it should leave the TC behind easily.
HSV’s are for posers. Real Holden fans build thier own cars or even pay someone else to do it for them. Either way the car will be totally restored to an original or customised state. Not bought off some showroom floor with a few factory options & a new set of wheels.
This reminds me of Tom Watkinshaw’s ‘88 HSV VL… there are good add-on kits and there’s the other, clearly this is the other.
Seen one at a dealership.. It is a lot different to what most people are used to.. But after awhile, it grows on you. It looks like an utter beast in the flesh!
I like thhem idea you came up with Earthy is really good i know alot of people give you a hard time for your ideas but this one is really good.
Thanks Guy’s, it’s the daily broken people I have to put back together which drives my enthusiasm, along with a heartfelt desire to have a future for my children.
By all means drive a fast car, but fast cars mean really big accidents in the hands of those with whom ‘think’ they’re good enough. So if you really want to drive fast, prove you have the ability 1st. Having a legit sportscar licence which would have to encompass emotional maturity, reaction speed, spatial awareness etc etc etc etc could be a real badge of honour.
GOM, My Alfa has no relevance at all, you;re right, but it does allow me to practice my welding from time to time!
Hey guys!
Great to be back on the TG site after the editor Stephen Corby banned me a few months ago.
I thought my blogs created lots of worthwhile feedback, but he claimed they were “inappropriate”.
Anyhow, onto the HSV. It looks like an NRL supporter – nothing between the ears (and nothing between the legs, either, which explains why it’s trying so hard to be macho).
My Camry, on the other hand, remains timeless. When hitched to the Millard van, it has that bum-down, nose-up look that really tells the world it’s a car with performance on tap.
Maybe HSV needs help from Toyota.
YOOOOUUUUU MR VAN MAN GGRRRRR AAWWW I KILL YOU!
bronson,iv got a caravan story,the other day i overtook a bogun caravaner about 1km before a small town,so when i was going thru the town and a school zone at40kmph,the bogun went to catch and over take me back,at maybe90 to 100kmph,too bad there was a cop with a radar there.
i love mass appeal – nice one bronson!
and gom your rambling again – so the ford has bits from other models!-and what does the hsv look like,hmmm-its got a bit from each model over the last 10 years and a a couple from audi and fpv
(the grill and the silly leds)
Every car manufacturer got inspired by the band of Audi’s LED headlight and put them on their cars. It demolish the personality of a great car and destroy it’s own brand image. That’s why holden cannot make a classic, epical cars. I’d rather have a 2 doors monaro.
Anyone can tell me is the HSV stylist a young jap from tokyo drift now?
Ummm… Black Dog – I’m with you on this. I hate the look of the E2. What Ford are you talking about? The only time I mentioned Ford was to say I haate them with a passion. Much the same as you dislike Holdens. In the blog about the E2 I specifically said I hate the way they have copied from Ford styling so much.
I think one of us is not understanding what the other means. I’m just not sure which one of us got the wrong end of the stick!!
No, it was overdone the CEO of HSV said the double bonnet scoop was “horny”, No im sorry it’s worse than ever. But i do like the Clubsport that wasn’t over “much”.
Dont think hsv has ever designed an ugly hsv yet!!!
sorry gom – i amm-err well i was a bit-no alot drunking/drinking,
oh-ok i was pissed
drowning my sorrows/fritz my 928 spat its exaust censors(again)And mark lost(again)
and my wife wont let me do a supacar drive day.
its just not fair – waaaahh!!
Lol i have no idea what you guy’s are on about Bronson you vex me because you are a typical retired 60 year old who has no idea about cars yet here you are telling us your grand knowledge. When you have absaloutly no idea what you are talking about you just sit there in your boring Camery with your caravan attached doing 60kmph in a 110 zone so that when a guy like G.O.M has to be somewhere in his truck your kindly in his way causing road rage but maybe we migh get lucky and he’s conveintly changeing the radio station as he approach’s a hill while your on the other side doing 60 he coming along at 110 you do the math mate.
Don’t feel to bad black dog at least you get to drive you 928 every day and that’s good you don’t need to show it off to anyone to make it any better think about that and maybe your wife is right if you are having car trouble taking it to a event and thrashing the hell out of it probly just make things worse huh?
Nothing wrong with being good & drunk. If I had a Porche & it broke down on me I reckon I’d get good & wasted to. You will hate this part – my girlfriend actually paid for me to do the V8 Supercar day for my birthday. Just tell your wife that you either get to do the drive day or you are going to swap the Porche for a guzzling FPV so you can have a supercar day everyday. She will either let you do the drive day or divorce you for trying to blackmail her. Either way you get the drive day!!
Speed – I don’t think that is the real Bronson Fuchedi. I think it is an imposter looking for bites. If it is the real bronson though, I think he should look at the wieght difference before the speed difference. My 35-45ton against his maybe 2.5ton. Ummm… I win, bronsons a pancake. Don’t drive the truck very often anymore though. I’m on a boat for the vast majority of my working life now. I guess I could invite bronson fishing, I can always use more bait.
it looked so much better before!!!
my dad has a cubsport and it lloks way better the audi style lights and the wheel and the stupid ford black stuff just ruins the car.
Exactly. I have a relative who owns a Clubsport, and I reckon it looks better too. This one looks like someone has gotten hold of a Clubsport and added some different rims and a bodykit, what you’d expect from an aftermarket tuner and not HSV themselves. Why don’t they do a more thorough job so it doesn’t look goofy?
Is it true HSV stands for HEAPA SHIT VECHILES.?
By the looks of it l would say YES..!!
Firstly speedy – thats the thing with any old euro/supacar (in its day) they tend to want to sit around most days rather than drive!!
And the drive day is with the supacar club!
costs $2500 for the day – for that you get to play/abuse about 8mill in supacars for the day (really want to drive the ariel atom)
bargain i think.
GOM i see your logic – but let me run this quote by you first, ms bd said –
I DONT CARE IF YOU GET TO DRIVE THE
f%#&*^ing SPACE SHUTTLE-YOUR NOT SPENDING $2500,
And she loves Fritz the “nazi shitbox” more than me – and i havent told her about the exhaust scensors either! there the same $$ as the drive day!!
so im screwed!!
Black Dog – You have my sympathy mate. I can relate to that very well except in my case it was “I don’t care if it turns the car into a rocket, your not spending $20,000 on an engine for a 40 year old car”. Followed by “If you do that I’ll run you over in your own car”.
I now have a new partner in my life & a hell of a car being built. I wasn’t married to that one though so I had it a bit easier than you do.
Anyone remember that VOlkswagen Golf GTi W12? Both the HSV and the VW have the exact rear end, like someone in steelcap boots gave it a rightious kick up the backside. Also, this car is absolutely “bogan”. It does nothing more than accelerate and slide – also it smokes, like a bogan at a kindie centre. As I’m probably the only person to answer Elfin at a Holdens or Ford ques, Ford has defiently got the up this time.
Accelerate, slide & smoke. Sounds like alot of fun to me. Nothing wrong with bogons either. Seems an awful lot of people put them down, then go listen to thier music, drive thier cars & wear thier clothes. They can’t be all bad. Been in the top of the range FPV, I’m afraid I just wasn’t impressed. It was a dealer car with all the mods to, shaker, leather interior etc. The only part of it that I liked was the traction control worked well even on a wet section of the track.
I have to say it’s a very unappealing car looks wise. Performance wise it’s some of the best performance for your dollar anywhere in the world as are the latest Ford and FPV’s. Interesting how Holden/HSV always overstate the power output and Ford/FPV understate it on the turbo cars.
probably goes like the clappers but it looks like shit. And where did they get the idea to paint the front bumper- hello Ford?
get stuffed cold fusion like i’ve said b 4 ford
found on rubbish dump,fu*cked on race day,for old retired dickheads ha ha ha.ford fans are dirty cause loundes came home to holden he didnt want ford anymore!boo hoo hoo
I was in the UK in a small town for work a couple of weeks ago. A guy there had an E Series HSV. He was looney – laid rubber every time he drove it. When the Pommy guys I was working with asked if it was an American car, I proudly told them “Nah – we make that in Aus.” Good one HSV.
You forgot one HC34, not using the letters but still gives ford fans the tom tits – Bit of tin, bit of board, bit of $hit you build a ford. The only come back Ford lovers have is First On Race Day. Umm.. not according to history they aren’t. At least not very often.
Torana – Tonnes Of Rust And No Acceleration. Yeah right.
ta for that one.am getting song to help me along
teardrop from massive attack.have you heard that?and i also love bullet for my valentine.one of their songs where the kid turns into a wearwolf and the girl he likes is one too.so cool
Not into MA. I like all sorts of stuff with the emphasis on good metal – AC/DC, Metalica, Pantera, Disturbed, GnR. Stuff like that. I listen to everything from metal to rap to clasical & everything in between. If it’s got a good beat, people that actually know how to play thier instruments & a vocalist that doesn’t just scream (like that death metal rubbish), then it’s good for me. I absolutley hate 99.9% of top 40 stuff. Britney doesn’t do anything for me. Well her singing doesn’t anyway. Eminem is good because he’s a funny F@#ker. Techno/dance music is for idiots without enough talent to play real instruments. Computer generated garbage. Love RHCP, Floyd, George Thorogood & Nirvana. Hendrix sux.
Bet that last one will get some bites. Sorry to any hendrix fans but any idiot can just slap a guitar & call it music.
yeah know what you mean
You know what I mean. Does Brittney “do it” for you to when she’s not singing? (joking)
Listened to Creed properly for the first time today. Not bad.
brit spears only one song i like its called stronger.and one other song thats a favourite of mine is from john farnham its called thats freedom.love 70’s 80’s,90’s mix of everything.
and look at my other post i hate nos and have left my personal opinion of him there n stuck up for you.you sound like a top bloke who loves his kids just like my hubby.
Don’t go sticking up for me HC34. You will get a bad rep being associated with me! People like nos just aren’t worth the effort.
Anyway I will be missing as of tomorrow arvo until next tuesday when I get back. Look for the big banner that has the Brock ‘72 & ‘77 winning Toranas with his face & the words “Brock King Of The Mountain”. That’s our mob up there this weekend.
stuck up for you already sorry.
The f6 rules everyone!
FPV! not holden.